Someone, somewhere thought it would be funny to take a slightly feeble journalist who's never been near a fight, let alone a boxing ring, and teach them to box just like the robots in Real Steel. God knows why they called me. Here's what happened.
Those last shots are me running on what Barry calls 'the stairs of death'. Aptly, they did take me about as close to death as I've been. I have a new respect for anyone who ever wore a boxing glove.
I'm a fan of Real Steel. As I said in that Hugh Jackman interview, I was able to channel my inner teenager and enjoy the near-future action of a world in which robots, rather than humans, pummel each other for the enjoyment of the masses.
It's a sports movie at heart and perhaps the biggest satisfaction is watching Hugh Jackman's character using old-school boxing techniques (from the days of human boxing) to defeat the robo-sluggers of the future.
Sugar Ray Leonard was the consultant to Jackman here and the movie doffs its cap to the boxing world we know today.
Hugh Jackman interview
Pics: Hugh Jackman in wrestling match
So, in the spirit of proper boxing, we took lanky and somewhat feeble old me down to a proper boxing establishment - TKO Boxing in Canning Town - so I could learn the ropes from the people in the know. TKO's Barry Smith was on hand to knock me into shape. Barry only needed one look at my hands to know what he was dealing with.
Barry Smith teaches us the ropes
"You haven't worked a day in your life have you sunshine?"
I told him I had nine GCSEs. He wasn't impressed.
I've never punched anything in my life. And I can tell you that you really don't know how tough boxing is until you've given it a go. There is no workout that compares to being yelled at by the likes of Barry for three hours. The man doesn't mess around.
As you can probably see, I'm yet to be crafted into a deadly athlete. But I will return to TKO and the hope is that I can improve in the coming months. Like Rocky said, "Anybody can change!".
Real Steel is released on 14 October.
