Director Drake Doremus and Felicity Jones arrive for the screening of Breathe In
R-Patz is dead. Arise Robert Pattinson!
Everywhere he goes, someone follows Robert Pattinson. Try as he might, he just can't shake this guy off. Even when Pattinson's asleep, this damn guy is still out there. Worst of all, people think this guy is Pattinson. Who the hell is this imposter?
He's rich (Britain's second-richest actor, worth a fortune of more than £30m), he's powerful (one of TIME magazine's 100 Most Influential People in The World), he's sexy (Sexiest Man In The World, according to women's magazines). He's the guy from Twilight. He's R-Patz. And Robert Pattinson is going to kill him.
Right now, Pattinson is telling everyone who'll listen how much he hates that sleb nickname. Because it's more than just a nickname and he's knows it - it's a persona that's dragging him down like a million wild-handed, screaming tweenage girls. For Rob to live, 'R-Patz' must die.
Kill R-Patz: Vol 1 is better known as Cosmopolis. And David Cronenberg's arty, sexy, talky new psychothriller is almost custom-built for Pattinson. He plays a mega-rich, mega-bored twentysomething on an odyssey to destroy everything that defines him. Stretch? Hardly. Pattinson couldn't have found a more perfect role. The fact that his character wants to get a haircut throughout the movie is almost too much.
You can understand Pattinson's frustration. He's a much better actor than 'R-Patz'. Cosmopolis proves it: he's sardonic, enigmatic and very, very watchable in Cronenberg's movie, a different creature to the pale-faced one who pouted thanklessly as bloodsucking loverboy Edward Cullen.
Trapped in the Twilight zone, trapped in the body of a 107-year-old vampire, Pattinson has barely seen the light of day. But after five years, four movies, a lot of hair mousse and even more screaming, he's ready to break out.
In fact, Pattinson has been searching for dark, destructive roles for a while now. 'R-Patz' took a beating from Inglourious Basterds villain Christoph Waltz in Water For Elephants, before Pattinson screwed his way through Uma Thurman, Christina Ricci and Kristen Scott Thomas as an amoral seducer in Bel Ami.
Cronenberg noticed, that's for sure. He didn't even bother auditioning Pattinson, dubbing him a 'profound' talent. And the Canadian auteur isn't the only director in Hollywood who's seen something more in Pattinson. Next up, the 26-year-old has an ultraviolent crime thriller by the hotshot director of brutal Oz gangster drama Animal Kingdom, which sees him shot and kidnapped by Guy Pearce.
Then comes psychological drama Mission: Black List, where he plays the US military interrogator who found Saddam Hussein. These are bold, risky choices from an actor who could easily be piling up his billions by starring in cheesy rom-coms as Jennifer Aniston's toy boy or Vanessa Hudgens' high-school crush.
When the final Twilight movie, Breaking Dawn Part II, finally hits cinemas in November, Pattinson may finally be able to put some distance between himself and the circus that's chased him: the screaming fans, the daft awards ceremonies, maybe even that are-they-aren't-they? thing with Kristen Stewart.
He'll still be rich, he'll still be famous, he'll still be handsome. But he'll be an actor, not just a poster on a tweenager's bedroom wall. That's the plan, anyway. Call it a comeback if you like. Just don't call him R-Patz.